Royal Bank Wins $98.5 Billion Takeover Deal

After a lengthy battle with English rival Barclays Bank, the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and its partners (Dutch bank Fortis and Spain's Banco Santander) have been successful in their bid to buy the Dutch bank ABN Amro. 86% of the Dutch bank's shareholders have now accepted a 71 billion euro ($98.5 billion or £49 billion) offer to clinch Europe's biggest-ever banking takeover. The RBS offer was largely in cash, while the competing bid from Barclays was mainly in shares. These fell in value in recent weeks, as financial service stocks fell worldwide as a result of the recent market turbulence arising from concerns about losses from US "sub-prime" mortgage lending. ABN Amro has 4,500 branches in 53 countries and will now be broken up amongst the three partners in the deal. RBS is expected to take its wholesale and investment banking business and its Asian operations.

Picture of the ABN Amro HQ via Wikipedia.

Why Did the Chickens Cross the Road?

It wasn't much fun for the birds, but when a lorry carrying 3,000 live chickens jack-knifed on one of Scotland's busiest roads, causing gridlock across a large part of central Scotland at the rush-hour, the media had a field day making jokes about the birds that spilled out onto the road. The accident was said to have caused a "real fowl-up" and "grid-flock" with commuters facing eggstra long tailbacks as police got into a flap trying to catch the chickens that had escaped. All other police and animal welfare jobs sank down the pecking order... The accident happened at 4.30am on the A80 heading towards Glasgow near Castlecary, a notorious accident black spot. The road is the main artery between Stirling and Glasgow, used by over 80,000 vehicles a day. It took nine hours before the south-bound lanes were all open again. When traffic began to move again on the northbound carriageway, many drivers slowed to see the chaos - with police taking time off from clearing up the blockage to book some of those who used mobile phones to take photos. BBC Scotland - who had asked for such photos to be sent to their newsroom - had egg on their faces and hastily back-tracked, saying they didn't want drivers to break the law. Those chickens that were rounded up were taken to their original destination - the slaughterhouse.

Two Million Air Travellers in September

There were 2,043,609 passengers using Scotland's three main airports at Aberdeen, Edinburgh and Glasgow last month, a rise of 3.8% on the previous year. Glasgow was Scotland's busiest airport in September with 883,890 passengers, but that was slightly down on the previous year, despite a 6% increase in long-haul traffic. Edinburgh's international traffic surged by 24.1% and overall passenger numbers rose by 6.5% to 848,143. Aberdeen airport handled 311,576 passengers, up 10.5% from the previous year, with international traffic up by 24.2%. In the 12 months to September, the three airports handled 21.2 million passengers, a rise of 3.7% on the previous year. International traffic grew during the same period by 9.7%, up by more than 737,000.

Smiles Better

The 2008 edition of the Blue List from travel giant Lonely Planet has placed Scotland in the top 10 of the world's friendliest countries, stating that "Time after time the welcome is warm." Of course, the Australian-based guide can't resist commenting on our "brutal" weather and "painfully bad" goalkeepers. The guide says to forget "Trainspotting" and the "Glasgow Kiss" and suggests that the country's fighting spirit has left Scots "with an extroverted, buoyant demeanour and a blackly humorous nationalism; you'd want to see the funny side after witnessing some of those goalies. Naturally, this attitude rubs off on travellers and Scots are so loyal they want you to share in the good stuff too." Some football fans did feel that the jibes about Scotland's goalkeepers were out of date, however, particularly after the recent defeat of France, the current World Champions. Apart from that, it was smiles all the way...

Mickey Mouse Still Popular

The top international destination last month for international air travellers from Glasgow was Orlando - home of the Disney World theme park - with over 20,000 sunseekers jetting off to see Mickey Mouse and the many other attractions in the area. The lure of Arabian nights - and all those shops and clear blue skies - has made Dubai the fastest growing international destination, while other popular destinations were New York, Philadelphia and Vancouver.

City Council Increases Parking Charges 50%

Thirteen car parks, operated by a subsidiary of Glasgow City Council, increased charges by as much as 50% this week. The car parks are now more expensive than the commercial ones in the city centre which form part of the Buchanan Galleries and St Enoch Centre shopping centres. The increase now means that those who previously paid £2.40 for three hours will now pay £3.60. Although intended as short stay car parks, the impact will be felt particularly by those who work in the city and park all day. As for shoppers, it is yet another reason to use shopping centres away from the centre of the city, where parking is free.

Will Mike Trump Donald?

The billion pound golf resort being planned for Balmeddie, on Aberdeenshire's coast, has raised a lot of controversy, with advocates pointing to the economic benefits and those against pointing to the environmental damage which will be done by creating two golf courses, along with a 450-bedroom hotel, 950 holiday homes, 36 luxury golf villas, 500 private residences, an elite golf academy and a driving range. Part of the 1,400 acres includes an area designated as a "Site of Special Scientific Interest." But even if it gets planning approval, the luxury development could be badly affected by one local fisherman. Mike Forbes owns 23 acres - right bang in the middle of the development - and he is refusing to sell, despite offers which have risen to £350,000. The "working farm" has geese, hens, cats, bits of old tractor, a derelict car and burnt out barrels scattered around. In other words, it's an eyesore. But Mike claims says that he is not budging from where he has lived all his life and his father and grandfather before him. He reckons that Donald Trump "thought we were all a load of cabbages up here and he could just sweep through and clear up." Trump is scathing of his adversary - suggesting that the land was in "total disrepair" and that Mike is just holding out for more money. Trump says that if he can't buy the 23 acres he will build his luxury development around it. Of course, well-heeled golfers may be put off this wild paradise by the rusty tractors used to drag in fishing nets and their frames in from the sea, and the oil cans used as homemade braziers for burning rubbish. The battle continues...
Picture via Wikipedia.

Work Starts on Perth City Hall

With the creation of a new, modern concert hall in Perth costing £20 million, plans were made to convert the original Edwardian Perth City Hall into an upmarket shopping centre. The development was originally scheduled for completion in time for Christmas this year, with planning approval given over a year ago. But the project has been dogged by "legal issues" and there have been concerns that the whole plan might founder. The creation of the new shopping centre is regarded as important for the redevelopment of Perth city centre, while still retaining as much of the iconic building as possible. At last the developers have announced that work will begin towards the end of November - though whether the 12 retail units, cafe and restaurant will be operating by Christmas 2008 is questionable.

Plastic Poppies

In recent years, the four million poppies sold in support of disabled ex-servicemen by the charity Poppyscotland (formerly the Earl Haig Fund) have had sharp pins to allow them to be fixed to clothing. But for "health and safety" reasons and to save money, the poppies this year will have plastic stems or will be "stick-on" items. It was argued that the sharp pin used to keep the poppy in place was a safety hazard. In addition, the pin was the most expensive part of the poppy - and the charity makes more than 4 million of them each year in Edinburgh. The poppy appeal and the sale of merchandise raises over £1.5 million - an amount that keeps rising each year as the traditional poppy appeal is said to be more popular than ever.

New Marina for Stornoway?

Recent research, by Stornoway Port Authority, Comhairle nan Eilean Siar (Western Isles Council) and Highlands & Islands Enterprise, has suggested that a new marina should be built at Stornoway harbour. It seems that more and more yachts are visiting the Outer Hebrides as the west coast of Scotland is recognised as one of the best sailing areas in Europe. The increasing numbers of larger boats require modern facilities at the quayside. So the proposal is to build 40 new pontoon berths in deeper water than the existing marina, capable of taking yachts up to 15 metres.

Inverness Airport Expansion

Business leaders and politicians have called on the Scottish government (in other words, the taxpayers) to provide funding for the £19.2million terminal expansion at Inverness airport. This is seen as "essential" for the continued growth of the Highland economy. An application for a capital grant for the terminal scheme was made earlier in 2007, after passenger numbers reached 700,000 a year. The present building is designed to cater for 750,000 to 1million travellers, but numbers are expected to increase to 1.2 million by 2015 and 1.8 million by 2030. It is claimed that the existing terminal is now operating beyond its design parameters at its busiest periods and the hope is to have an expanded building operational by 2010. In typical fashion, a spokesman for the Scottish Government said: "Ministers are currently considering the application for the extension to the terminal and they will make an announcement on that shortly."
Picture via Wikipedia.

Twin Piers and a Beach for Kirkcaldy?

The latest Kirkcaldy Town Centre and Waterfront Masterplan by Fife Council, currently out to consultation, includes an extension to existing retail provision, a redeveloped Esplanade and leisure development with a cinema and hotel. It also suggests that two piers and a beach should be created along the Esplanade - faces the North Sea. But some local residents are sceptical about the wisdom of creating such structures when Kircaldy's sea front can often get battered by easterly gales and mountainous waves.

Plans for Highland Museum and Art Gallery

The Aberdeen Press and Journal has revealed "secret" plans for a new £15 million Highland museum and art gallery, with three potential sites being identified for an "iconic" building that would showcase the best of the region's historic artefacts and artworks. Potential sites include the former Inverness Royal Academy and another at the Northern Meeting Park, beside St Andrew's Cathedral and Eden Court Theatre. The new building would replace the existing Inverness Museum and Art Gallery, which is considered too cramped and inaccessible. The aim would be to bring back Highland artefacts, currently on display outside the region, back to the north.

Governments Uses Butterfly Statistics

You might have thought there were plenty of indicators of the state of the environment available to government statisticians already, but this week it was announced that state of moths and butterflies are to be used by the Scottish Government as an aid to measuring the changes in climate and biodiversity. Of course, Butterfly Conservation Scotland (BCS) said it was delighted by the decision, which it hoped would raise the profile of threatened species. Some resident species have declined in recent years, although the warmer temperatures have encouraged others to move further north. The Orange Tip is now frequently seen in Scotland and there have been sightings in recent years of the Comma butterfly as far north as Scone Palace and Dundee. There are now 33 species of butterfly seen regularly in Scotland, with some, such as the chequered skipper, surviving only in Scotland, having died out in England.
The illustration shows a Painted Lady nutterfly which flies from the Mediterranean all the way to Scotland.

Christmas Travel Chaos for Rail Travellers

Network Rail, who manage the tracks and signalling in Scotland's railway network, has warned travellers that there would be inevitable disruption to services in December and January as a huge £800 million of engineering work takes place on many parts of the network. Both track and stations will be affected, with bus services being used in some cases to provide an alternative. Services to and from Ayrshire and Inverclyde, for example, will terminate in Paisley, instead of Glasgow central between December 26 and January 6. And over the festive period services to and from Waverley station in Edinburgh will be reduced, to allow electrification work to go ahead.

Stirring Stuff

The Golden Spurtle World Porridge Making Championship was won last Sunday by a guesthouse owner from Argyll. A dozen cooks from across the UK assembled at Carrbridge in Strathspey for the annual contest, now in its 14th year. Maria Soep, who runs the Roineabhal Country House at Kilchrenan in Lorn, near Loch Awe in Argyll, emerged victorious in a final three-way cook-off. Ms Soep said she had obtained an edge from the quality of her pinhead oatmeal from a health food shop in Oban, which had been soaked overnight with added salt and "good water". The winner of the "speciality" section featured porridge with stewed apple, cinnamon, raisins, whipped cream, chocolate and grape nuts. Who said porridge was "dull"?

Weather in Scotland This Week

The mild, almost "Indian Summer" weather has continued this week. Of course, this is October so top temperatures were only around 17/18C (63/64F) though Aberdeen did reach 20C (68F) on Thursday. There were a few showers on Tuesday, but rainfall was largely limited to a few spells of light drizzle. The exception to all these above normal temperatures was the far west, with Stornoway's maximum temperature on Sunday only reaching 10/11C (50/52F) and the highest was only 14C (57F) on Thursday.

This Week's Colour Supplement

This week's large format photographs taken in Scotland to show the current season and its flora and fauna include a tall white Anemone Japonica; Rosa Rugosa, a species of rose native to eastern Asia; Painted Lady and Small Tortoiseshell butterflies feeding voraciously on the Sedum "Autumn Joy"; Dunnock enjoying the seeds of the Pampas Grass; and autumn colours at Drummond Castle gardens (see thumbnail here). See This Week's Colour Supplement.

Looking Ahead to the Past

This week Inverness hosted the first annual meeting of "Scotland's Rural Past," a five-year project to investigate and record Scotland's rural heritage. The project, being led by the Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Scotland (RCAHMS), aims to record evidence that still survives of the pre-industrialised countryside. This includes ruined buildings, farmsteads, townships, field systems, earthworks, boundary dykes, limekilns and sheepfolds. Countless generations of rural communities worked the land and shaped the countryside seen today. This rural way of life has now almost vanished, leaving only the fading remains of their farms, townships and fields. Evidence of this past is seen in the ruins of the settlements they left behind and in the subtle signs which remain in the landscape. A new website at www.scotlandsruralpast.org.uk has been launched.

Roman Fort in Perthshire Surveyed

Archaeologists recently completed a thorough survey of a Roman fort at Strageath in Perthshire, north-east of Muthill. Originally built at the end of the first century, Strageath was one of a line of fortifications built by the Romans on and around the Gask Ridge in Perthshire. They were created to control the central part of the river Earn valley and access to the Highlands via Loch Earn and the Sma' Glen. This frontier system is the earliest Roman land frontier in Britain, built in the 70s AD, 50 years before Hadrian's Wall and 70 years before the Antonine Wall. Recent research suggests it may have been the first Roman land frontier in Europe. Strageath was abandoned, but later re-occupied at the same time as the construction of the Antonine Wall across central Scotland (built between 142 and 144AD). Unlike other Roman Forts north of the Antonine Wall, it seems that Strageath may have been surrounded by a civilian settlement - a so-called "vicus".

Next Week in Scottish History

• October 14 1285 - Second marriage of King Alexander III (to Yolanda de Dreux).
• October 14 1318 - Edward Bruce, brother of Robert the Bruce, killed in a battle near Dundalk, Ireland.
• October 14 1633 - Birth at St James' Palace, London of King James VII, second son of King Charles I and brother of King Charles II.
• October 14 1969 - The 50 pence decimal coin was first issued, replacing the ten shilling note.
• October 15 1686 - Birth of poet Allan Ramsay, father of Allan Ramsay the painter.
• October 15 1902 - Edinburgh's Balmoral Hotel opened its doors for the first time.
• October 15 1943 - Poet William Souter died in Perth.
• October 16 1430 - King James II born.
• October 16 1774 - Poet Robert Fergusson died.
• October 17 1346 - Battle of Neville's Cross during which King David II was captured by the English.
• October 17 1850 - James "Paraffin" Young obtained a patent for the extraction of paraffin from shale, starting the chemical industry in West Lothian.
• October 17 1995 - Bridge to the Isle of Skye opened.
• October 18 1958 - Denis Law became the youngest footballer to play for Scotland when he took part in the match against Cardiff when he was 18 years and 7 months old.
• October 19 1687 - First sedan chairs available for public hire introduced to Edinburgh.
• October 20 1971 - Explosion at Clarkston Toll shopping centre, killing 12.

"Best Park in Britain"

A panel of judges, which included a national newspaper and two gardening publications, has named Pollok Country Park in Glasgow as the "best Park in Britain". Two million people visit the 365-acre attraction each year, not just to wander around the open spaces and the woods, but to go to see the National Trust for Scotland's Pollok House (pictured here) and its Gardens and tearoom in the original Victorian kitchens, the world-famous Burrell Collection of art, the herd of Highland cattle and the Clydesdale horses. And for the more energetic, there are mountain bike trails and horse riding. And the children's play area has an aerial assault course 40 feet up in the trees, involving a network of rope bridges, trapezes and slides. Winning awards for its parks is nothing new for the city which sometimes styles itself as "The Dear Green Place". Earlier this year the Botanic Gardens in the west of the city was named "Best Park in Scotland" by another panel of judges and tiny Auchinlea Park, near the Glasgow Fort shopping centre in Easterhouse, won the same award last year.

Canadian Minister Opens Gaelic Mod

The 104th Gaelic Mod was opened on Friday by the Canadian minister for tourism, culture and heritage with the Nova Scotia Provincial Government. The Royal National Mod is Scotland's premier festival of the Gaelic language, arts and culture. It has grown to be the second biggest festival in the country and it celebrates the Gaelic language and culture through music, dance, drama, arts and literature. Competition in all the events is keen and the event attracts contestants from around the world, including Ireland, Australia, Canada and the USA. For all the details, see www.the-mod.co.uk.

Winterfest Glasgow 2007

Winterfest Glasgow, the city’s packed programme of festive celebrations, was unveiled this week. The Festival gets off to an illuminating start, with the Christmas Lights switch-on on Sunday, 18 November. Glaswegians and visitors to the city are set to experience a radical change to the design of Glasgow on Ice in George Square. For the first time ever, skaters will be able to glide on the new-style ice rink created around the base of the Sir Walter Scott column. Towering 80 foot above the revellers, Sir Walter will look down upon those celebrating the festive season on skates as they circle the base of the famous landmark in the heart of the city. Party goers are being invited to ring out the old and bring in the new with the best in Scottish music at Glasgow’s Hogmanay party. Following her huge success at T in the Park and on the back of a UK tour, Scotland’s very own Amy Macdonald will be joining the party and wowing the George Square crowd. See /www.winterfestglasgow.com for full details.

Scottish Culture Around the World

The main focus of the Scottish Snippets is news items, usually about Scotland. But the "Scots Abroad" section, invites folk to write in about Scottish-related events in their part of the world. It allows publicity for them and an appreciation by others of just how much Scottish culture is perpetuated in every corner of the globe.

Scotland, Connecticut

"Scotland" has been used as a place name (or part of a place name) right across the USA in 19 states. The first settler in Scotland in Connecticut was Issac Magoon. In 1700 he purchased 1,950 acres of land and thus began Scotland’s history - the town named Scotland as a way of commemorating his ancestral home. Scotland became the birthplace of Samuel Huntington, a signer of the Declaration of Independence and a distinguished statesman during the Revolutionary War and early Republic. Last weekend (Columbus Day Weekend) they held the 20th Scotland Connecticut Highland Festival. Spectators were treated to all the normal Highland Games type of events - the constant skirl of pipers, the gentle thumping of the lassies at the dancing competitions and the massed bands, including the Rhode Island Highlanders, who had crossed the state border for the day. The Quaboag Highlanders from Massachusetts wowed the crowd with their pipe adapted version of "America the Beautiful" at the opening ceremony. The slightly American-centric variations of the "games" included "Hay Bale Tossing" (over a rising bar that gets to over 35 feet) and lassies partaking of caber tossing - apparently for this event they had 4 of the top 10 women in the world there on Sunday. And a lady from Uddingston (the original, near Glasgow) was doing a brisk trade in UK sweets and comestibles. See also www.scotlandgames.org.

Sunday and Mid-week Football Results

Aberdeen 4 St Mirren 0

Gretna 1 Celtic 2 Montrose 0 Elgin 0

Clydesdale Bank Premierleague Results - 13 October 2007

No SPL games or other senior matches on Saturday due to Scotland international against Ukraine.

Scottish Hydro Electric Rugby Division One Results - 13 October 2007

Boroughmuir 40 Hawick 20
Currie 33 Glasgow Hutchesons25
Dundee 32 Stirling County 25
Edinburgh Academicals 20 Ayr 21
Glasgow Hawks 31 Watsonians 41
Melrose 41 Heriots 27

League Tables

It took two goals in the last five minutes to allow Celtic to win the game last Sunday against Gretna. That put the Hoops back on top of the SPL, one point ahead of Hibernian and three above Rangers. The foot of the SPL and the positions in the Scottish League Division 1 to 3 remain unchanged from last Saturday.

In the Scottish Hydro Electric Rugby Division One, Boroughmuir remain out in front, 4 points ahead of Melrose, with Currie a further 8 points further back in third place. Glasgow Hutchesons trail at the foot of the division with 8 points, 3 behind Stirling County

Scotland 3 Ukraine 1

Scotland's dream of reaching the Euro 2008 finals in Austria and Switzerland remained on track as the national football side defeated Ukraine 3-1 at Hampden Park in a professional and convincing manner. Scotland had lost 2-0 in the away game in the Ukraine and this match was a "must win" situation to keep the Ukrainian hopes of qualification alive. But Scotland reached half-time in front, after goals in the first ten minutes from Kenny Miller and Lee McCulloch - who was booked for protesting about being denied a penalty, which most observers thought should have been awarded. Andriy Shevchenko pulled one back for the visitors but super striker James McFadden, who had supplied the passes for the first two goals, restored the two-goal cushion with a clinical strike 20 minutes into the second half.

Argentina 19 Scotland 13

Scotland failed to win through to the semi-finals of the rugby World Cup last Sunday, going down 19-13 to Argentina. Scotland did manage to score first, from a penalty, but Argentina came back with two penalties of their own and largely controlled the match. Scotland did score a try in the second half, but Argentina held on to qualify for the semi-finals for the first time in the history of the competition.

Aberdeen Face Tough Uefa Cup Games

Getting through to the group stage of the Uefa Cup was just the first hurdle for Aberdeen. Now they know that they will face Greek outfit Panathinaikos, Russian side Lokomotiv Moscow, Spanish giants Atletico Madrid and FC Copenhagen in Group B. The first game will be away against Panathanaikos on 25 October, followed by a visit to Atletico Madrid.

Clydesdale Bank Player of the Month

Celtic goal-scorer Scott McDonald has been named the Clydesdale Bank player of the month for September. He is Celtic's top scorer, with nine goals so far this season, including a hat-trick in the 3-0 win over Dundee United. He also scored the winner in the 2-1 victory over AC Milan in the European Champions League. McDonald was born in Australia but could have played for the Scotland national team because both his parents were Scots. But he held out for a place in the Australian squad - an ambition that has now been realised.

Scotland v England

International football matches between scotland and England (long regarded as the "Auld Enemy") may be few and far between since the annual matches were abandoned in the 1980s. But now the two countries will have an opportunity to face one another - at cricket. The Scottish Saltires will play England in a one-day international in Edinburgh on August 18 next year at the Citylets Grange. The lucrative match is expected to boost the game's coffers by up to £500,000. The 6,000 capacity crowd may be swelled by a further 1,200 corporate spectators as many of the Capital's businesses are keen to provide financial support. Of course, as with other high profile matches, the outcome will depend on the weather as cricket cannot be played when it rains...

The "Magazine" section includes songs/poems of Scotland, Scottish humour and brief descriptions of Scottish Culture items added recently to the Rampant Scotland Website - with a link to the page where you can find the full feature, if you find the subject of interest to you.

Scottish Place Names Around the World

Bulawayo, Zimbabwe
It may surprise some readers to find Scottish names in this southern African city. This is a legacy of the days when Zimbabwe was known as Southern Rhodesia, the bulk of whose European population was British, many of them Scots. The founder of the city of Bulawayo was in fact a Scotsman, Leander Starr Jameson (1853-1917), who was Cecil John Rhodes' right-hand man.
Of the names of the 156 suburbs that have been identified to date in the Greater Bulawayo area, 38 (24.4%) can be found in Scotland or are based on Scottish family names. Of course, many of the names are used in other parts of the British Isles as well, but at least 15 of them (9.6%) are unique to Scotland, are based on Scottish family names or are readily identifiable with places in Scotland that are based on the same names. For all the details on Scottish-realted place names in this African city, see Scottish Place Names in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe.

Scottish Poetry and Song

Carolina Oliphant was born on 16 August 1766 in Perthshire and became known as the "Flower of Strathearn" because of her beauty. Both her father and grandfather had joined Bonnie Prince Charlie in the 1745 Jacobite Uprising and she herself had been named Carolina after the Young Pretender. She married her second cousin, Major William Nairne in 1806 - but kept her poetry and song writing secret from him! When her husband's inherited title was restored (it had been removed following that Uprising in 1745) she became Lady Carolina Nairne. Despite her Perthshire background, she clearly knew Edinburgh very well - the poem below covers all the 19th century highlights of "Auld Reekie" - Scotland's Capital.

Fareweel, Edinburgh

Fareweel, Edinburgh, where happy we hae been,
Fareweel, Edinburgh, Caledonia's Queen!
Auld Reekie, fare-ye-weel, and Reekie New beside,
Ye're like a chieftain grim and grey, wi1 a young bonny bride.
Fareweel, Edinburgh, and your trusty volunteers,
Your Council a' sae circumspect, your Provost without peers,
Your stately College stuff'd wi' lear, your rantin' High-Schule yard;
The jib, the lick, the roguish trick, the ghaists o' auld toun-guard.

Fareweel, Edinburgh, your philosophic men;
Your scribes that set you a' tae richts, and wield the golden pen;
The Session-court, your thrang resort, bigwigs and lang gowns a';
And if ye dinna keep the peace, it's no for want of law.
Fareweel, Edinburgh, and a' your glittering wealth;
Your Bernard's Well, your Calton Hill, where every breeze is health;
An' spite o' a' your fresh sea-gales, should ony chance to dee,
It's no for want o' recipe, the doctor, or the fee.

Fareweel, Edinburgh, your hospitals and ha's,
The rich man's friend, the Cross lang ken'd, auld Ports, and city wa's;
The Kirks that grace their honoured place, now peacefu' as they stand,
Where'er they're found, on Scottish ground, the bulwarks of the land.
Fareweel, Edinburgh, your sons o' genius fine,
That send your name on wings o' fame beyond the burnin' line;
A name that's stood maist since the flood, and just when it's forgot,
Your bard will be forgotten too, your ain Sir Walter Scott.

Fareweel Edinburgh, and a' your daughters fair;
Your Palace in the sheltered glen, your Castle in the air;
Your rocky brows, your grassy knowes, and eke your mountain bauld;
Were I to tell your beauties a', my tale would ne'er be tauld.
Now, fareweel, Edinburgh, where happy we hae been;
Fareweel, Edinburgh, Caledonia's Queen!
Prosperity to Edinburgh wi' every risin' sun,
And blessin's be on Edinburgh, till time his race has run!

Meaning of unusual words:
lear = learning, education
thrang = crowded
eke = also

Lachlan's Laws

The Collection
By popular request, the "Lachlan's Laws" that have been appearing in this newsletter each week have been gathered together into a compendium of his words of wisdom on life, the universe and everything. So for all his many fans, see Lachlan's Laws Collection.

Scottish Humour

Famous Last Words
Malcolm, Murdo and Callum were sitting in a bar discussing the words they would like to hear spoken over their coffins at their wakes. Malcolm says, "I would like them to say 'He was a wonderful family man - he always supported his wife and kids, and they never wanted for anything'". Murdo nods and says, "That's lovely Malcolm. But I would like to hear them say, 'He was a great man in the community - he undertook a lot of projects to make his community a better place.'" Callum thinks for a moment and then says, "That's very nice, Murdo. But I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

Lachlan's Laws - # 46
That great Highland philosopher, Lachlan McLachlan, propounded a number of irrefutable laws of life, the universe and everything, usually after a "bevvy" in the Auchenshuggle Arms on a Saturday night. Here is another example: "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man."

Very True
Maggie was taking her first golf lesson from the club professional at the Auchterlonie Golf Club. Anxious to understand the finer points of the game she asked "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" Her instructor, with many years of experience to draw on, gave her a complete answer. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' on the other hand means a vain attempt to do the same thing."