New Government Health Strategy

The government's Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing has launched a new strategy for Scotland's primary health care system over the next few years. It calls for more patient participation and improved healthcare access, including more flexible hours for doctors' surgeries, plans to set down patient rights in a charter and targets to cut the number of people who need emergency hospital care. Many patients would appreciate being able to see a General Practitioner before or after work or at the weekend. In recent years, such facilities have disappeared as doctors in general practice have reduced availability to office hours. Doctors are unconvinced that it will lead to better health care - ignoring that it would afford their "customers" (the patients) greater convenience. Pilot "walk-in" appointment services will be tested in a number of locations including shopping centres and railway stations to provide treatment for minor injuries, simple diagnostic tests and some adult immunisations.

Retail Sales Remain Slow in November

Consumers continued to act cautiously in November, according to figures released this week by the Scottish Retail Consortium. Like-for-like sales growth in retail outlets was only marginally better than in October - which had produced the weakest growth since March 2006. However, total sales (which take into account new outlets) were up by 5.3% compared to a year ago, but that remains below the average for 2007 so far (7.1%). Clothing and footwear suffered a particularly tough month as mild weather continued and housing market fears hit homewares and DIY, despite widespread discounting. Analysts suggest that consumers appear to be "spooked" by the gloom in the financial markets.

Unemployment Continues to Fall

Historically, unemployment levels in Scotland were always higher than in the rest of the UK. But these days the opposite is the case. Government statistics published this week show that in November, the Scottish unemployment rate stood at 4.6%, below the UK average of rate of 5.3%. The number of people in Scotland claiming the Jobseeker's Allowance fell by 700 in November to 71,700 - some 14,300 lower compared to the figures from November last year. On the UK Government's preferred measure, the International Labour Office method, the total unemployed for the three months to October was 123,000, down by 6,000 over the quarter and 14,000 over the year. The number of people in employment, at 2.549 million, was 2,000 up over the quarter to October and up 63,000 on the figure this time last year.

Overwhelming Support for Trump Golf Plans

Aberdeenshire Council has given overwhelming support to the plans by US entrepreneur Donald Trump for a billion pound golf resort on the north-east coast. The council's infrastructure committee had earlier rejected the plan on the casting vote of the chairman. That prompted a "no confidence" motion by the full council and the committee chairman was duly sacked by 26 votes to 10 (but with 29 councillors abstaining). As well as backing the development plans, it was also decided that future planning applications of regional or national significance will go to the full council for a final decision. It was surprising to outside observers that this was not already the case, with the decision on such a massive project being left to a lower-level committee. In the end, their vote counted for nothing, however, as the planning application was "called in" by the Scottish Government and the final decision will now be made in Edinburgh.

Edinburgh Airport Now Scotland's Busiest

Until now, Glasgow Airport handled more passengers each year than any other air terminal in Scotland. But the Edinburgh hub has been growing at a faster rate than Glasgow, which suffers from its location to the west of the city, making access from the rest of Scotland more difficult, and competition from Prestwick airport in Ayrshire. Overall, Edinburgh's traffic is growing at nearly 5% a year, but Glasgow's is shrinking by 0.7%. The latest figures for the twelve months to the end of November show that for the first time Edinburgh carried more passengers than its rival in the west. Glasgow is still Scotland's biggest international gateway despite a decline in recent years in charter holiday flights. A major part of that market has moved to low-cost budget carriers such as easyJet, Flyglobespan and Ryanair.

Scots Love New York

The weak dollar and availability of more flights between Scotland and North America has meant that a record number of Scots have been flying to New York from Edinburgh and Glasgow. New York is now the number one long-haul destination from Scotland, with a total of 50,000 passengers going there in October and November, according to the airport operator BAA. The exchange rate of over $2 to the pound means that shoppers can combine a holiday with some bargain shopping. Price comparisons published in newspapers show that it is possible to buy some digital cameras £130 cheaper than in Scotland while iPhones were £76 cheaper and iPods cost £54 less. Passenger numbers could rise even further next year when Delta airlines launches daily Edinburgh-Newark flights next May, after scrapping its Edinburgh-Atlanta route in October.

Nuclear Power Station to Continue

The Hunterston B nuclear power station in North Ayrshire began generating electricity in 1976. It is currently running at around 60% of capacity, however, because of boiler problems. It was due to be shut down soon but the Scottish Government has agreed that it should continue to at least 2013 and possibly to 2016. The power station employs 670 staff and is a major contributor to the local economy. The current Scottish Government is against building any further nuclear power stations in Scotland, but is not opposed to extending existing nuclear power stations until the end of their natural life.

Offshore Turbine Project On Track

This week the UK government announced a major drive to increase the number of wind turbines located offshore around our coastline, aiming to have up to 7,000 of them installed by 2020. Progress with wind farms onshore has been painfully slow, in part because of strenuous objections to the impact that they make on the landscape. Resistance to turbines placed some distance offshore has been considerably less. The Robin Rigg project in the Solway Firth, being constructed between Scotland and England, is currently one of the biggest offshore wind farms in the UK. It was given planning approval in 2003, the first such scheme in the country. But the water depth and distance from the shore (six miles) made it a challenging project. Progress on the 180 megawatts scheme, with its 60 turbines, has been halted for the last three months due to a construction barge being out of commission. But this week the developers E.ON announced that work will restart before Christmas. Despite the delay, the company is still confident of completing the project by its target date of spring 2009, since other parts of the work have been proceeding well.

Cut Price Subway Extension

We have become used to soaring, sky-high costs for major infrastructure and building projects, so there was some surprise this week when Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT), which includes the Subway in Glasgow within its remit, suggested that the extension of the existing circular route to the east end of the city could cost "only" between £60 million and £120 million. Of course, in order to speed up implementation, so that it is ready (with luck) for the Commonwealth Games in the city in 2014, the plan is no longer to create another circle, but just a spur connecting the main Argyle Line heading east from the city centre to the Parkhead area. That is where the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games will be held and where the National Indoor Arena and Velodrome will be located. It will also connect the area with the Scottish Exhibition and Concert Centre (SECC) to the west of the city centre - the SECC is hosting several of the events in 2014.

First Minister's Christmas Card

Normally, there is not much media comment about the Christmas card being sent out by the Scottish First Minister. But with a new Scottish Nationalist government in power, the newspapers gave full coverage to Alex Salmond's choice of design. It has a traditional Christmas feel about it, with a full moon shining brightly over a snow covered Linlithgow Palace (birthplace of Mary Queen of Scots) and the adjacent St Michael's Church, all reflected in the loch in front of the palace. The card was designed by Scottish artist Jolomo - John Lowrie Morrison. The message inside reads: "Happy Christmas and a Guid New Year" from Alex and Moira Salmond and contains a verse from the Scottish song "The Four Marys" the story of Mary Queen of Scots' handmaidens and set inside Linlithgow Palace. The First Minister grew up in Linlithgow and the original painting for the card will be auctioned later and the proceeds donated to charity.

Poor State of Scotland's Roads

Most drivers in Scotland didn't need an Audit Scotland survey to tell them that, away from main trunk highways, Scotland's roads are riddled with potholes and craters. If you are a regular traveller on a route, you know where the worst suspension jarring spots are located. But driving at night or in poor visibility, the first indication is when the wheels crash over them. Local authorities responsible for the roads pay out large sums of money every year to motorists who successfully sue them for broken suspensions. The report by the government financial watch dog concludes that almost half of Scotland's roads are below standard. The worst blackspots are in East Renfrewshire and South Ayrshire with 60% of roads in need of serious repair. Aberdeen came out top in the survey, with only a third of roads there needing repair. Lack of investment over many years is the root cause of the problem.

UK's Biggest Egg Farm

Despite strenuous objections by a local action group, Scottish Borders Council's planning committee has approved the creation of the UK's largest poultry farm at Blythbank near West Linton. Glenrath Farms Ltd wants to build nine large, free range poultry houses, each housing 25,000 hens, producing eggs for supermarkets across the UK. Last year, the company was given the all clear by Scottish ministers to build one of the giant sheds, despite concerns by locals that this was just the "thin edge of the wedge". The scheme will now be referred to the Scottish Government for a final decision, due to environmental concerns.

Paradise Lost?

The Calyx project to create a national gardening showpiece on the edge of Perth was launched in 1997. Since then, it has produced many grand plans for a £36 million project, built on a 60-acre site beside the existing 6 acre national heather collection at Cherrybank Garden. The aim is to create 30 themed gardens, 20 competition gardens and a sky walk through the treetops. And with Scotland's unreliable weather in mind and to create a year-round attraction, much of it will be covered by huge transparent domes. The Eden project in Cornwall showed how popular such a facility could be and the Calyx centre aims to be twice as large. This week there was a major set-back for the project when the Big Lottery Fund "Living Landmarks" programme turned down the application from Calyx. All other funding was conditional on getting National Lottery funding so unless another source can be found, the project will not now go ahead. The gardening proposal gets its name from the botanical term "calyx" which is the term for the petals that surround a developing bud.

Golf on the Sabbath at Stornoway?

There has been controversy recently about a proposal by the Caledonian MacBrayne ferry company to introduce a ferry service from the Western Isles to the mainland on a Sunday. The company claims that it is responding to pressure from many who live on the islands. But there is also resistance from those who do not want to see what they regard as the traditional way of life of the area being lost. Now there is another challenge to the strict observance of the Sabbath from that other Scottish "religion" - golf. Stornoway Golf Club have been trying for some years to get the terms of their lease amended to allow them to play on a Sunday, after 117 years of observance of the ban. It appears that only four out of the 130 members voted to maintain the present arrangements, when the subject was debated two years ago. Now the club has taken legal advice and think they have a good case to challenge the clause. The lease allows for arbitration in the case of disputes and is supposed to take account of any changes in circumstances and attitudes, and ensure that the terms of the lease do not impede the enjoyment of the club.

Weather in Scotland This Week

There was a chilly start to the week, with maximum daytime temperatures in the range 4/6C (39/43F) from Sunday to Tuesday this week. It was slightly milder on Wednesday and Thursday with Lossiemouth and the Western Isles recording highs of 10C (50F) and the central lowlands reaching 8/9C (46/48F). The thermometer then turned back down again, with maximum temperatures on Friday and Saturday only reaching 4/5C (39/41F) in Aberdeen and the lowlands, though the Western Isles did manage a high of 8/9C (46/48F). The sun did shine on Monday and Friday but otherwise there was a lot of cloud, though very little rain.
The illustration here is of the Royal Mile in Edinburgh on Friday - one of the (few) days when the sun shone!

This Week's Colour Supplement

This week's large format photographs taken in Scotland to show the current season and its flora and fauna include the Bank of Scotland head office illuminated at night; blood red coloured bracts of Poinsettia; 19th century "Kibble Palace" in Kelvingrove Botanic Gardens; Silverburn Shopping Mall in the Pollok district of Glasgow; delicate-looking flowers of Viburnum (see thumbnail here). See This Week's Colour Supplement.

Appeal for Black Watch Memorial Funds

A campaign was launched this week to restore and repair the Black Watch Memorial at The Mound in Edinburgh. The monument depicts a Highland soldier with rifle and bayonet and displays the names of members of the regiment who fell during the Boer War. It was commissioned by the Black Watch on a site donated by Bank of Scotland in 1906. In addition to dealing with decades of weathering, the plan is to replace missing features such as the soldier's bayonet. The cost of the renovation work is a modest £15,000 and Bank of Scotland is contributing £5,000 to give the project a flying start.

Fort George Under Attack

Fort George, ten miles west of Inverness, was completed in 1769 as a defence against further attacks by the Jacobites, following the uprising led by Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745/46. It never was used for that purpose, but in recent years it has come under increasing attack - from the sea. Situated on a promontory jutting into the Moray Firth, the beach round the fortification is being eroded, allowing waves to crash into its walls. A plan has been formulated to try to halt the declining beach level. It involves strategically positioning several thousand stones from a local quarry, each weighing up to a tonne in weight, along the sands. Historic Scotland describe the measures as "rock armour" designed to take the energy out of the waves and reduce the impact when they reach the walls of the fort. The walls are having to be repaired - using lime mortar as in the original construction.
Photograph courtesy of the Scotavia © Web site.

Next Week in Scottish History

December 16 1653 - Oliver Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of England, Scotland and Ireland.

December 17 1956 - Petrol rationing was imposed following the Suez crisis and the closure of the canal.

December 18 1661 - Many Scottish historical records were lost when the ship Elizabeth of Burntisland sank off the English coast. The records had been taken to London by Oliver Cromwell and were being returned to Edinburgh.

December 18 1780 - Society of Antiquaries founded.

December 19 1904 - The "Scotsman" newspaper moves to new offices at North Bridge in Edinburgh, remaining there until 1999.

December 20 1560 - First General Assembly of the Church of Scotland.

December 21 1846 - Robert Liston, who was born in Linlithgow in 1794, performed the first operation in a British hospital using anaesthetic (ether).

December 21 1988 - Pan Am 747 blew up and crashed at Lockerbie, Dumfries, killing 243 passengers, 16 crew and 11 Lockerbie residents.

December 22 1715 - James Stuart, the Old Pretender, arrived at Peterhead. He stayed for only a few weeks.

December 22 1965 - Maximum speed limit of 70mph was imposed on all roads unless a lower limit was in place.

December 22 2000 - Pop mega-star Madonna married movie-producer Guy Ritchie at Skibo Castle, putting Dornoch into the media spotlight.

Major Refurbishment for Royal Museum

When the Royal Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh first opened its doors in 1886, it was the country's first national museum. In the intervening years only minor renovations to the displays have been carried out, however, with some now 75 years old. That situation was highlighted in 1998 when the new National Museum of Scotland opened next door. That was an exciting, modern building that demonstrated just how "tired" the original Victorian building had become. Plans for a major refurbishment have been in the pipeline for a number of years, while the necessary finance was raised. Now the £46.4 million renovation work will begin next May, when the Royal Museum will close for three years. That will allow the recreation of 16 of the 25 galleries, create two new entrances and a new floor of exhibition space at street level. It will double the amount of exhibits on display and the present giant entrance hall will be renamed the Grand Gallery. That area currently has large pools full of fish which are a firm favourite with visitors. These will, however, be removed to allow the hall to be used for major displays.

Seasonal Scots

The Scots Language Centre web site at www.scotslanguage.com is featuring lots of nice Christmas and New Year features for those of us who enjoy reading broad Scots. The home page points to a number of pages with a seasonal flavour in Scots, including poems from Itchy-coo and Sheena Blackhall. See Scots Language Centre (1) and Scots Language Centre (2).

Black Watch Play Back in UK

After a highly successful run at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August and highly acclaimed performances in Los Angeles and New York, the National Theatre of Scotland production "Black Watch" is to tour to a number of venues back in Scotland and England in the spring/summer 2008, including Glenrothes (Fife), Glasgow, Warwick and London, England. Black Watch is based on interviews with former soldiers who served in Iraq. Viewed through the eyes of those on the ground, Black Watch reveals what it means to be part of the legendary Scottish regiment, what it means to be part of the war on terror and what it means to make the journey home again. The production makes powerful and inventive use of movement, music and song to create a visceral, complex and urgent piece of theatre. The play is also to be performed early next year at the Sydney Festival, Australia (from 10-26 January), Perth International Festival, Australia (from 7-17 February), New Zealand International Arts Festival, Wellington (22 February to 9 March) and the Luminato Festival in Toronto, Canada (6-14 June). For all the details, see www.nationaltheatrescotland.com.

Scottish Culture Around the World

The main focus of the Scottish Snippets is news items, usually about Scotland. But the "Scots Abroad" section, invites folk to write in about Scottish-related events in their part of the world. It allows publicity for them and an appreciation by others of just how much Scottish culture is perpetuated in every corner of the globe.

Winnipeg Robert Burns Club

The Winnipeg Robert Burns Club will hold its 101st (yes 101st) Annual Burns Supper on January 25th, 2008, at the historic Marlborough Hotel. The club's successful Centennial celebration earlier this year began with Deputy Speaker of the Canadian House of Commons Bill Blaikie toasting the Immortal Memory in January. A memorable summer saw the Robert Burns World Federation hold its Annual Conference in Winnipeg, a once in a lifetime event. The club will begin its second century by welcoming former World Federation President, Major (ret'd) John Paterson as special guest. Guests can expect all the regular lineup - the Address to the Haggis, the Toast to Canada, the Toast to the Lassies, and their response, and the rest of the "sangs and clatters." This is being provided by the Braemar Dancers and Singers under the direction of Margaret Zadworney. Also, Zoom Airlines are providing return airfare for two to the United Kingdom to be won during the evening. See also www.winnipegrobertburns.org.

Orlando Highland Games

Highland Games usually take place in the summer months, but in Florida it would be too hot to stage them at that time of the year. So the Scottish Highland Games in Orlando, Florida take place on January 19-20, 2008. They are at Central Winds Park in Winter Springs, which is a suburb of Orlando. Even in January, temperatures can be above 80F! For more information, see www.flascot.com.

Sunday and Mid-Week Football Results

Celtic 4 Falkirk 0

Rangers 0 Lyons 3 (European Champions League, Group E)

Clydesdale Bank Premierleague Results - 15 December 2007

Hibernian 1 Falkirk 1
Kilmarnock 3 Gretna 3
Motherwell 3 Aberdeen 0
Rangers 2 Heart of Midlothian 1
St Mirren 0 Dundee United3
Inverness Caledonian Thistle v Celtic will be played on Sunday.

Irn-Bru Scottish Football League First Division Results - 15 December 2007

Clyde 2 Livingston 1
Hamilton 1 St Johnstone 0
Greenock Morton 0 Dundee 2
Partick Thistle 1 Dunfermline 1
Stirling Albion 1 Queen of the South 3

Irn-Bru Scottish Football League Second Division Results - 15 December 2007

Ayr United 0 Raith Rovers 3
Brechin City 4 Airdrie United 2
Cowdenbeath 1 Alloa 4
Queens Park 1 Peterhead 1
Ross County 2 Berwick Rangers 1

Irn-Bru Scottish Football League Third Division Results - 15 December 2007

Albion Rovers 5 Arbroath 2
East Fife 2 Dumbarton 0
East Stirling 3 Elgin 1
Montrose 0 Forfar 1
Stranraer 2 Stenhousemuir 3

Scottish Hydro Electric Rugby Division One Results - 15 December 2007

Ayr 6 Glasgow Hutchesons 6
Boroughmuir 49 Heriots 22
Currie 47 Hawick 3
Edinburgh Academicals 30 Dundee 6
Glasgow Hawks 27 Stirling County 27
Melrose 12 Watsonians 20

League Tables

Celtic are still at the top of the Scottish Premier League, but with only a two point advantage and Rangers have a game in hand. Motherwell are currently third, just two points behind Rangers - but they have played two more games than the Ibrox side. Gretna did manage to narrow the gap at the foot of the SPL on Saturday, but they are still 9 points behind St Mirren.

In the First Division, Hamilton and Dundee both won on Saturday and remain with the same number of points at the top. Stirling Albion bring up the rear, 4 points adrift from Dunfermline.

The Second Division is also tight at the top, with Ross County and Raith Rovers with the same points total. Berwick Rangers trail Brechin at the other end of the table.

East Fife went further ahead at the top of the Third Division on Saturday and have a 12 point lead over Stranraer. Forfar are just one point behind Dumbarton at the foot of the division.

Boroughmuir have a massive 21 point cushion over Currie at the top of the Scottish Hydro Electric Rugby Division One. Dundee are trailing at the other end of the table, 6 points away from Glasgow Hutchesons.

Rangers Crash Out of European Champions League

Rangers needed just one point to clinch a place in the knock-out stage of the European Champions League, but in the final match at Ibrox against Lyons, the French side needed to defeat Rangers to snatch that prize. The visitors went ahead in after just 16 minutes. Rangers produced few chances to even the score and in the second half Lyons scored twice to produce a convincing win and progress to the next stage of the Champions League. Rangers have the consolation of finishing third in their group and so will drop down to the Uefa Cup instead.

Scotland's World Cup Qualifying Fixtures

It may be a while before the matches are played, but the dates for the football World Cup 2010 qualifying matches were agreed this week. Scotland kick off with an away match against Macedonia on 6 September 2008, followed by a trip to Iceland four days later. The first home game is against Norway on 11 October followed by Holland away on 28 March 2009. Iceland come to Hampden on 1 April and the Norway away tie is on 19 August. The final games are at home on 5 and 9 September 2009 against Macedonia and Holland.

Rugby International Against Argentina

The Scottish Rugby Union has confirmed that there will probably be an international match against Argentina next summer. The Pumas are coming to Europe to play two matches, one in the Spanish city of Barcelona and the other could be at Murrayfield in Edinburgh, although the South American side has not yet confirmed their choice of venues. Argentina finished third in the recent rugby World Cup and the International Rugby Board has been seeking ways of offering them more Test rugby.

New Stadium for Aberdeen?

The Arena project team from Aberdeen Football Club and the City Council this week outlined the business case for the club moving from its ground at Pittodrie to a new 22,000-seat stadium near Loirston Loch at Cove, three miles south of the city. The plan would be for a community stadium costing around £53 million, which would be a base for the club as well as a local resource to increase participation in sport and encourage a healthy lifestyle across all sectors of the community. If Aberdeen City Council approves the scheme (and the supporters don't object too strongly about the loss of their traditional home in the city), the stadium could be built by 2012.

Scotland's Oldest Ski Centre Bankrupt

Originally known as the White Corries, the ski centre in Glencoe was bought by two businessmen in 2004. But poor winter snow and a lack of year-round attractions have led to losses and the company was forced to appoint a provisional liquidator this week. Soon after, however, it looks as though it will continue to operate after a management buyout. Glencoe was Scotland's first commercial ski centre when it opened in 1956 with an overhead ski lift. The resort covers 494 acres now has seven lifts and 19 runs. But it has struggled to maintain operations without summer attractions like the funicular railway at CairnGorm Mountain or the gondola at Nevis Range

The "Magazine" section includes songs/poems of Scotland, Scottish humour and brief descriptions of Scottish Culture items added recently to the Rampant Scotland Website - with a link to the page where you can find the full feature, if you find the subject of interest to you.

Best of the Recent additions

From time to time, new sites being added to the Rampant Scotland Directory links sections catch my eye:

Celtic Countries Magazine
This is a monthly webmagazine on the rich heritage and current news of the Celtic nations. It focuses on old traditions as well as the latest news and lifestyles of Ireland, Scotland, Mann, Wales, Cornwall, Brittany, and Galicia. There's information about culture, business, and politics, with a special interest on cross-cultural similarities and cross-national, inter-celtic cooperation. See Celtic Countries Magazine.

Scottish Inventions

With a relatively small population, Scots have been responsible for many inventions over the centuries - something that we take great pride in telling anyone who will listen! There are many well-known Scottish inventors and inventions (like Alexander Graham Bell who was the first to patent the telephone and Alexander Fleming's discovery of penicillin) but some are less well known:

Industrial Textile Bleaching - Charles Tennant (1768-1838)
Born in Alloway in Ayrshire, Charles Tennant's family had farmed there for generations - and had been friends of the local poet Robert Burns. Charles was the 9th of 16 children, and became a weaver in the village of Kilbarchan in Renfrewshire. He saw that the weaving industry was being constrained by the method used to bleach cloth which involved crude chemicals and long exposure to sunlight for many months. He started his own bleaching fields in Ayrshire and looked at the methods used for bleaching. There had already been progress (times had been reduced from 18 months to four) but in 1799 Tennant (in partnership with Charles Macintosh who is best known for his technique of macintosh waterproofing clothing) patented a new method to create a dry bleaching powder that could be used indoors. He built a factory at St Rollox in Glasgow and demand for his bleaching powder soared. By the 1830s and 1840s it was the largest chemical plant in the world, with over 1,000 workers. Later, he was to become a social reformer, helping to create one of the most productive periods of social progress and reform in Scotland's history. His works needed large quantities of coal and as he was a good friend George Stephenson, the great railway engineer, Tennant was one of the prime movers in railway expansion. He was mainly responsible for getting a railway into Glasgow. The chemical business founded by Tennant eventually merged with others in 1926 to form the chemical giant Imperial Chemical Industries.

Scottish Poetry and Song

While there is a tradition of hard drinking in Scotland, numerous efforts have been made over the years to reduce the negative social impact of alcohol on families and temperance movements attempted to turn people away from the evils of drink. Songs such as these, showing their "successes" were popular at the time.

Farewell to Whisky

I'll gang to the alehoose and look for my Jimmy.
   The day is far spent and the night's comin' on.
You're sittin' there drinkin' and leave me lamentin',
   So rise up, my Jimmy and come awa' hame.

Nae mind o' the bairnies that are at hame greetin',
   Nae meal in the barrow to fill their wee wames.
You're sittin' there drinkin' and leave me lamentin',
   So rise up my Jimmy and come awa' hame.

Wha's that at the door that is speakin' so kindly,
   It's the voice of my wifie, called Jeannie by name.
You're sittin' there drinkin' and leave me lamentin',
   So rise up my Jimmy and come awa' hame.

Fareweel to the whisky that mak's me so brisky.
   Fareweel to the alehoose I'll visit nae mair.
Sin Jeannie is waitin', her pair hairt is breakin'.
   So fare thee well, alehoose, and I'll awa' hame.

Meaning of unusual words:
gang = go
bairnies = children
greetin' = crying
wames = stomachs
Sin = since

Scottish Humour

Heavens Above
Fiona was an expert harpist who frequently was asked to play for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She was also a blonde and had an angelic, cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement in a hotel in Edinburgh and stepped into the lift (elevator) with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, an elderly gentleman stepped on. As the lift rose, he looked thoughtfully, first at Fiona and then her harp and asked, "How far up does this lift go?"

Lachlan's Laws - # 53
That great Highland philosopher, Lachlan McLachlan, propounded a number of irrefutable laws of life, the universe and everything, usually after a "bevvy" in the Auchenshuggle Arms on a Saturday night. Here is another example: "A woman marries a man expecting him to change - and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change - and she does."
For the first 50 laws, see Scottish Humour - Lachlan's Laws.

How Long Will I Live?
Mrs McFlannel was most upset when she phoned her doctor early one morning. She asked the doctor in a trembling voice: "Is it true that the medication you prescribed for me yesterday has to be taken for the rest of my life?" The doctor confirmed this was the case. After a moment of silence Mrs McFlannel continued, "I wonder then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'No Refills'."